OFF THE WALL

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Fair Weather Climber

Bitey cold April day: Sunshine bouncing off the heaps of slag dumped in the quarry; clouds running like crazy sheep overhead. From the fug of the car it looks like the perfect day for shaking off winter dust and putting shiny gear in rock.

Turns out that’s a wrong assumption. Although the entrance to Fairy Caves is sheltered and the hat is stripped off and shoved in a pocket, as soon as we enter the main area the wind attacks like it’s just returned from an arctic holiday. It hurts. Hat goes back on and hands are shoved in pockets.

The place doesn’t live up to its name in April. The climbable material – the stuff that might stay up under you if you’re lucky – is nearly all in the shade…and will remain that way. Come back in June if you want sunshine.

This doesn’t seem a deterrent for some. Blobs of helmet colours are scattered thinly over the walls. Admittedly a lot of them are still at the bottom of the routes looking faintly blue around the extremities.

Like English beach holiday goers we stand and watch while deciding whether or not to take the plunge. At The Glacis, tops of routes fade into grass- wet grass after last night’s downpour. On this slippery slide we see a pair of climbers pick their way ballerina-like across the top in a bid to escape – directly above others already climbing. The girl on the lead makes four moves and then slides back to where she came from. Damp rock too then. Nice.

We move on to look for something or somewhere more inspiring. ‘Rob’s Crack’ – ‘One of the best at this grade in the region’. Worth a look at, surely? We find a fine line in a solid slab…in deep shade. A pair have just finished. What was it like? ‘Lovely bit of climbing, but cold’. The quality of the cold is qualified: ‘So cold I had to put my hands in my pockets’ - And that from the lead.

Let’s go and have hot chocolate in a café in town. Let’s leave this place to those who manage to find pleasure in climbing damp freezing rock in a cutting wind, with frozen hands and stiff limbs. Let’s leave this place and return on a midsummer evening when the experience will be memorable for the right reasons.

The hot chocolate was good but not as good as Italian hot chocolate.

Posted by fishinwater